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The Latest Nonfiction on your Burger Addiction
BURGER JONES issues the MEAT IT OR BEAT IT challenge
Minneapolis, Minn, September 25, 2009 – “We have the meat if you have the balls,” said BURGER JONES General Manager John Emerson to the fanny-packed dad who asked him about the Meat Your Maker burger. “Think you can handle it? I said, ‘DO YOU THINK YOU CAN HANDLE IT?’” bellowed a normally reserved Emerson.
An apology...
“I apologized to Mr. Bladquist,” said John Emerson, reading from a prepared statement. “I did not display the Parasole standard of hospitality that” blah blah blah.
Followed by a dare
“MEAT IT OR BEAT IT. Here’s the deal: If any beer-gutted biker, college stoner, female softball player or Japanese speed eater can finish a Meat Your Maker burger within an hour, they’ll get an exclusive, open-casket-quality T-shirt and/or $20 gift card.
“Moreover, I will personally take time out of my schedule to attend their funeral.”
MEAT YOUR MAKER
“Lest
its glory blind thee, I will describe the Meat Your Maker,” said
Emerson.
"LEVEL ONE: A bun, grilled with cheese and bacon. It supports a 7 oz. cheeseburger, chicken fried bacon, chili cheese dog-burger, 7 oz. cheeseburger, and chicken-fried bacon.
LEVEL TWO: Grilled cheese with bacon, a 7 oz. cheeseburger, chicken fried bacon, chili cheese dog-burger, 7 oz. cheeseburger, and chicken-fried bacon.
LEVEL THREE: Grilled cheese with bacon, a fried egg, cooked to order, topped with onion rings and garnished – no, crowned – with Faribault Creamery cheese curds.”
Calories: Approximately 10,000. Cost: “$25, not counting medical care. By the way, we are not liable for injury,” warned Emerson. “You WILL be asked to sign a waiver” (see below).
A message to food critics, bloggers, and reporters
“You could die,” said Emerson. “In fact, I expect our burger to send unclean souls to hell.”
“But if you do meat it and somehow beat it, you’ll earn the respect of burger flippers like myself, people who aren’t all fancy like you are, who feed real meat to real people who want to take their country back from the broccoli czars, fat rationers and quinoa Nazis.
“Learn more on our Facebook page,” said Emerson. “Then ask yourself, ‘Can I MEAT IT OR BEAT IT?’”
from The Onion, Volume 45, Number 24
Burger Jones:
A New Urban Burger Bar from Parasole
Minneapolis, MN, May 19, 2009 – With the opening of Burger Jones restaurant and bar, Twin Citians finally have an answer to the question, “Who’s your momma? Who’s your daddy? Who’s your pusher with the patty?” Says Phil Roberts, founder of Parasole Restaurant Holdings and creator of Burger Jones: “The idea behind this restaurant is simple: NEED. BURGER. NOW.
“We don’t just fix burgers. We give people their burger fix – with the best damn burger we know how to make.”
The secret ingredient is burger
Burger Jones opens after nearly a year of intense burger graduate study. “We visited the country’s premier burger joints,” says Roberts. “We read every article on burgers. And we tried literally dozens of different blends and grinds from various suppliers.”
Using a proprietary blend of hanger, brisket and chuck – coarsely ground, hand-pattied, then cooked on a heavily seasoned flattop grill – Burger Jones serves burgers that achieve “the Holy Grail of burgerdom,” explains Roberts. “They’re beefy, but not gamy. Juicy, but not greasy. Tender, but structured. And crusted just so.”
Parasole restaurants already serve some of the city’s best burgers – from Figlio’s 10-ouncers to Manny’s Prime Burger and Salut’s French Onion Soup Burger. But Burger Jones is special, according to Roberts. “Just like a Manny’s steak is in a category of its own, Burger Jones stands apart.”
In at least one respect, however, Burger Jones will be identical to its Parasole siblings: “Even though this will be among our lowest-priced restaurants, Burger Jones will offer the same legendary Parasole service you receive at Manny’s, Salut, Pittsburgh Blue and everywhere else,” promises Roberts. “ From the knowledge of our servers to our entire staff’s commitment to guest satisfaction, this will be a Parasole restaurant through-and-through.”
The beef is just the beginning
A superior burger depends on more than the patty, however. Roberts highlights other features of the Burger Jones experience:
The bun: “It’s a house-made, egg-washed challa-like bun that’s soft enough not to get in the way of the burger, yet firm enough to hold up to it.”
The fries: “We actually serve three varieties. Our principal French Fry is made from aged Russet potatoes, twice-fried to achieve the perfect crispiness on the outside and optimal texture inside. Burger Jones also offers maple-bacon sweet potato fries and parmesan waffle fries.
The cheese: “You choose the cheese – locally sourced from Faribault Dairy … Amablu, Caveman cheese curds and Fini, a Wisconsin cheddar that is aged for an additional 14 months in the dairy’s sandstone caves. Other offerings include Prairie Rose, an Amish produced, Gruyere from Southern Iowa and fresh milk mozzarella.”
The specialty burgers: “I’m partial to the White Trash Burger, with chicken-fried bacon, cheese curds and God’s own Velveeta. But we also have several other specialty burgers, and a rich repertoire of off-menu specials.”
Non-beef burgers: "Tree huggers can order the Birkenstocker. And then there are the Dog Burgers. Get it Chicago style ‘dragged through the garden,’ or smothered in short-rib chili. Or German style; we call that one the Schnauzer.”
The Shakes: “We use frozen custard. Rich and creamy, it’s a superior foundation for both our soda fountain-style shakes and our adult Hard Shakes.”
Happy Hour in the bar – and the dining room - and the patio
Burger Jones offers Happy Hour throughout the restaurant from 3-6 p.m. and from 9 p.m. to close every day. Select domestic pints, house wine, BJ Cosmos and BJ Appletinis for $3, as well as $4 select premium and import pints. And complimentary house-made potato chips in the bar.
“Whether you’re mingling in the bar, holding court in the dining room, or enjoying the patio, Burger Jones will have a killer Happy Hour,” says Roberts.
Bar offerings available any time of day include a wide selection of bottled beers and drafts, available in pints and growlers; wine by the glass and bottle; martinis and specialty cocktails; and Hard Shakes like the Southern Belle, featuring vanilla bean frozen custard, grilled peaches, Maker’s Mark and ‘Nilla Wafers.
Standout take-out
The entire menu is available to go. Orders can be placed in-person, over the phone. “Being right by the lake, Burger Jones is perfect for picnics, and with guaranteed parking for takeout, it’s easy to stop by and pick up dinner on your way home from work,” explains Roberts.
Burger Jones also offers burgers by the sack for company lunches, along with BJ party platters for larger groups.
A delicious design
Burger Jones offers guests a choice of three distinct spaces: a streamlined dining room that somehow manages to be unpretentious and sophisticated; a small, but self-contained bar; and a spacious patio overlooking Lake Calhoun.
The restaurant was designed by the New York-based architecture firm, Moschella-Roberts, creator of Chino Latino, the new Manny’s Steakhouse, Salut Bar Américain and Pittsburgh Blue Steakhouse.
“We think guests are going to like being in Burger Jones,” explains Roberts. “The emphasis is on comfort, and every design element works toward that end. Burgers are timeless, after all. The space should be, too.”
Anchored in the community
Proceeds from Burger Jones’ opening events will benefit Perspectives Kids Café, a nutrition and self-esteem program for high-risk and homeless youth living in St. Louis Park. Operating 5 days a week and serving over 55 elementary aged children each day, the program provides mentoring and education around nutrition, as well as teaching the children key team building, leadership and hygiene skills.
“Our initial donations are the beginning of an ongoing partnership with Kids Café,” says Burger Jones General Manager John Emerson. “The organization is doing fantastic work through the medium of food, and going forward we plan to continue to help out however we can.”
The menu at Burger Jones also reflects a commitment to supporting local and regional businesses. From Faribault cheeses and locally grown produce, the restaurant will be a showcase for the Midwest’s culinary bounty.
The newest member of the Parasole Dining Club
As a Parasole restaurant, Burger Jones will offer its guests the opportunity to earn rewards through the free-to-join Parasole Dining Club. For every $150 spent, guests earn $10 in rewards redeemable for food and drink at all Parasole restaurants. There is no enrollment fee and points earned do not expire.
Burger Jones at a glance
Address: 3200 W. Lake Street, Mpls., MN 55416
Telephone: 612-746-0800
Fax: 612-746-3990
Hours of operation: 11 a.m. to 10 p.m. Sunday through
Thursday.
11 a.m. to Midnight Friday and Saturday
Happy Hour: 3-6
p.m., and 9-close, everywhere in the restaurant.
Parking: Ample free parking in and around Calhoun Village Shopping Center
Takeout: YES!
Twitter: twitter.com/burgerjones
Facebook: Become a fan at www.facebook.com
Reservations: Sorry, no.
Website: www.burgerjones.com
About Parasole
Headquartered in Minneapolis, Minnesota, Parasole Restaurant Holdings operates Manny’s Steakhouse, The Living Room & Prohibition at the W Minneapolis – The Foshay; Pittsburgh Blue Steakhouse; Salut Bar Amèricain in Edina and St. Paul; Chino Latino and Figlio restaurant and bar at Hennepin & Lake; Muffuletta Café in St. Paul’s Como Park neighborhood; the Good Earth Restaurants in Edina and Roseville; and opening May 19th Burger Jones.
By joining the Parasole Dining Club, guests have the opportunity to earn rewards for the dollars they spend and to redeem them for food and drink at any participating Parasole restaurant. Details at Parasole.com/diningclub.